God Breaks Through

By Michael Yeo, guest contributor

I was addicted to morphine at the age of twelve, during the early 70s when hippie culture and underground R&B music had tremendous influence on drug addicts. Dad passed away when I was fourteen, so my mum had to work really hard because my family was poor. Growing up, I developed a rebellious never-say-die attitude.

Later in the 80s and 90s, my involvement with gangs made me more violent. I often got into gang-fights and pushed drugs in the nightclubs. I was deeply engaged in black magic and was tormented by the spirits to the point of almost committing suicide. I was also using many different drugs. When I exhausted all my resources for money, Mum was the only avenue that I could rely on to sustain my addictions. Out of love she supported me, but I could see the hurt and grief I have caused deep down in her heart, as she often cried and begged me to change. In fact, I was more than willing, but it was beyond my own strength. And being so tormented by such a life, there was constant strife in the family.

突破死亡線

原文：楊明弟 | 中譯：蔡穎

在70年代早期, 當嬉皮文化和地下藍調音樂對毒癮者有著極大的影響力時, 十二歲的我染上了嗎啡的毒癮。父親在我十四歲時過世後, 我的母親必須要辛勤工作才能撐起我們貧窮的家庭。也因此, 我從小就養成了一個叛逆甚至死不罷休的人生態度

在80-90年間, 我加入了一個幫派組織，使我變得更加暴力，很多時候我會參加幫派鬥毆，也會在夜總會裡販賣毒品。我對邪術深深著迷，因此被靈界的力量折磨，使我瀕臨自殺的邊緣。我也使用許多不同的毒品。每當我耗盡金錢時，就向母親要，她是唯一的金錢來源。她因為愛我，所以才繼續給我錢，但她經常哭著求我改變。而我也知道自己傷透了母親的心，雖然我也很想改變，但我那已遠遠超過我自己的能力所及。而我扭曲的生命帶給我的家庭不斷的衝突。