Blossoming Branch--a testimony from Carol Huang

 Carol Huang | English translate: Zizian Zhong

Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.  —Hebrews 12 :6

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. —Hebrews 12 :11 

 

Since I was little, I have been very aggressive. I have always had a strong desire for success. When I was in high school, I joined various musical groups, such as violin club, school choir, and piano club. Meanwhile, I organized several events on campus. I also actively involved in off campus activities. I would do whatever I was interested in; No matter it was dancing, singing, painting or playing piano, I always had a success. Because of all these achievements, I was getting more and more prideful. And then, I was admitted by my dream University. My life at the time made me firmly believing that I could plan my future by relying on my own talents. However, God made me experiencing his profound disciplines. 

When I was a little girl, I have caught chronic?dermatitis. My parents took to see various doctors, but none of them was able to heal me. Some of the doctors comforted us that my illness would get better naturally after I became a teenager. In desperate, my parents and I set our hope on such comfort. 

However, the reality was far apart from my hope. My healthy was getting worse every day. Every time when my skin was itchy again, I used a kind of steroid medicine to make myself feel better. Until about two years ago, this medicine was very effective. However, when I was about studying in my University, my body had managed to ignore the steroid medicine totally. My illness had been out of control. There were countless cuts and breakouts on my face. Some kind of liquid came out of these wounds. Later, the wounds recovered a little bit, and then the scars were broken again. There were lots of wounds on my neck, too. They were so deep that I couldn ’ t turn my neck. There were wounds everywhere, my face, hands, arms and legs. I was so sick that I could no longer live a normal life. I couldn ’ t wash my hair by myself, so my Mum had to wash it for me. For 5 months, I couldn ’ t take a bath because there were too many cuts on my body. Because of all the wounds and scars on my face, I couldn ’ t open my mouth to eat. I had to ask my Mum to feed me bite by bite. I couldn ’ t brush my teeth because I couldn ’ t put a tooth brush into my mouth. I couldn ’ t laugh. Neither could I cry. The most painful moment was when I was sneezing. Whenever that happened, I lost control of the muscles in my face; all my scars were split at once. There was not even one night that I could sleep in peace. I was continuously shaking, and my Mum could do nothing but hold me tight. Sometimes, when my skin problem got worse, I was lying on the ground and shaking. No one else could help me, so I slapped my face. I tried to use pain to take away some itchiness. I knew I was torturing myself. I knew it was not a long term solution, and it would make my illness worse. However, that was the only thing that I could do at the moment. Everything for me was very challenging. I had asked God countless times for explanation. I didn ’ t think I deserved to be treated like that. Why did he allow his beloved children to experience such suffering? It was not until God took away everything that I was proud of, I finally understood that God was disciplined me for my sinful pride. I told God, I would give up everything in order to be healed by him, even if it meant that I had to withdrawal from school. 

In July, I read a Bible verse when I was doing my daily devotional. I felt God was talking to me through a Bible verse, which was Luke 1:24-25: “ After this his wife Elizabeth became pregnant and for five months remained in seclusion. ‘ The Lord has done this for me, ’ she said. ‘ In these days he has shown his favor and taken away my disgrace among the people. ’ ” . I told my mum that God would heal me in 5 months. To my surprise, she also had the same idea. During her devotional time, she was reading the book of revelation, which was talking about suffering for 5 months. God is faithful. In September, I recovered so quickly that I was able to go school. From April to August, it was exactly 5 months. Thanks the Lord, he does not lose his track. His timing is always perfect. 

God was continuously healing me, but the whole healing process was not always smooth. Firstly, I changed several doctors. I believed God would completely heal me in his time, but I was also secretly wishing the doctor could help me. Every time when I had such idea, God made me switch to a new doctor. In the end, I was desperate because of the doctors ’ boasting. I had to focus on God and his almighty power for healing. 

Later, my Dad was diagnosed with leukemia. Once my Mum heard this news, she left for Taiwan within 24 hours. When my parents were in town, they drove me to school every day. Before I finished my classes, they were ready to pick me up. Every week, they sent me to see a Chinese doctor near PNE, and they also helped me to prepare Chinese medicine. Whenever I didn ’ t feel well, they gave me massage and helped me to take bath. They were also my tutors for my homework and my close friends; they lifted me up when I was down. However, God took away all of these roles in my life within a day. I had nothing to rely on anymore. And then, I was scheduled for an eye surgery, which made me feeling very empty. I was so insecure, and I couldn ’ t stop crying. A counselor in church comforted me; many brothers and sisters encouraged my siblings and me. However, when I was facing all these caring elders, I couldn ’ t speak out the true concerns in my heart: I was not worrying about my Dad ’ s health — I truly believed God was with him, and he would be fine; I was worry because I was too weak to take care of myself. I was ashamed because I was too childish to take care of myself. 

However, the almighty God did not only care about my body, he also took care of my heart. One day, I was subconsciously walking to school cafeteria. I never liked the cafeteria in school because it was too crowded for me. However, I felt comfortable to sit down in cafeteria on that day. Right after that, I saw a Christian friend of mine was near to me. I finally got courage to open my heart. I told her all my helplessness and struggling. She encouraged me to believe God ’ s sovereignty was over everything in my life. After talking to her, I felt much peaceful in heart. God prepared right person at right timing for me. Thanks the Lord. 

Meanwhile, I had to take bus to my school or to Chinese medicine clinic. It was pretty far for me to go these two places by busing. However, God had a perfect plan ahead of time. The bus that I needed to take had a stop right in front of my home. This particular bus could also reach my school and the clinic. Can you imagine? God of the whole universe and the lord of all, he prepared the location of my home, my school, and the Chinese medicine clinic long time ago. He even planed the particular bus for me, so that I could go school every day and go to the Chinese medicine clinic after school. I could just take the same bus go home after my treatment. All of these made me filled with God ’ s grace and mercy. During that period, I was always staying very late. Sometimes, I couldn ’ t sleep until I heard the singing of morning bird. Every night, I slept about half an hour. I had classes at 8:30am, and I waken up at 7am. I slowly prepared my Chinese medicine, taking the medicine, and got ready to take care of myself when I didn ’ t feel well. However, God helped me every day. When I was lacking of sleep, he made me still go school energetically. When I was studying, God also gave me many blessings. For example, I had a lot of group projects in school. He prepared some very supportive group members for me. One of them was my neighbor; she voluntarily drove me to school everyday. Another of them told me that I didn ’ t need to worry about anything related to cardboard, and none of my group members judged me by their own standards. God was truly in control of everything. He had done so much for me. If I am continuously talking about it, I would never finish talking. 

Later, the condition of my skin was very unstable. One day, it got better; the day after, it got worse. However, I was courting on God. By faith, I believed God would heal me. Because of such faith, there was no fear in my heart. I was no longer struggling. I believed in God ’ s promises and his timing. Because of him, I was getting stronger in front of my weakest issue. Sometimes, I heard my friend asking, “ When God is pruning a branch, and the branch is hurting. Why God doesn’t just make the branch blossom right away? ” In my heart, I knew that the roots of the tree were growing deeper when God was pruning. In this way, the tree would bear sweeter fruits in following years. 

Whenever I am thinking about my spiritual journey during the past 2 years, I am always filled with tears. It was very difficult for me to fight with my illness, and such difficulty made me feeling overwhelmed. However, because of this painful illness, I was also blessed by godly courage. In the two-year period, God took away my pride, and he empowered me a heart with the fear of God. He teaches me with his word: “ I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth. ” （ Romans 9:17 ） Because of God ’ s wonderful plans and promises, I no longer take this illness as a painful challenge. Instead, I think it is a blessing for me. May the name of our God be glorified; he is worthy of all praises.