Why a Girl？

Cherry Guo

I used to think, “ Where are people coming from? Why people are alive? Why it is so hard for people to earn a living? ” I was born and raised as a none-believer. At that time, my Mum believed in Buddhism. My Dad was not a Buddhist, but he respected my Mum ’ s religion. The same as Dad, both my younger brother and I didn ’ t have any religion. However, all of us were often forced to go temple with my Mum. We were there for worshipping Buddha and seeking peace. However, as a little girl, I felt no peace but emptiness in my heart. This might be because my family valued boys much more than girls. All the attention was on my brother, which made me feel that I was someone surplus. 

In 2004, Dad took my brother and me to Canada. I was 13 years old at the time. When I first came to Canada, here was a foreign land for me. I could speak little English, and I knew little friends. I often called my Mum in tears, “ I want to go home. I don ’ t want to stay here. ” However, all my fears disappeared after a while. Dad worked all the time. He often left early and came home late and my step mother shouted at me for little reasons. As a result, I often wondered, “ Why did my Mum give birth to me? Why is it so tired to live in this world? Why am I unhappy? ” 

I had heard about Jesus at the time. However, I was against religion. Until I had a Christian friend Shirley, I then personally connected to a Christian family. Her Mum treated me like her own daughter. She smiled all the time. This made me curious. “ Why does she treat me so well? Why does she always smile? Doesn ’ t she have any trouble in life? ” 

It was the Easter of 2008 I was invited to Willingdon Church by my friends Candy, Shirley and Shirley ’ s family. At that time, I was touched by worship music in church. There was a big screen in sanctuary. On the screen, there was a guy in white. My eyes were caught by this guy. I was wondering who he was. Why was he crucified on a cross? Later, I knew that he was Jesus, the only son of God. He had been crucified for all the sin in this world. He did this for every sinful person on earth. He was our lord and saviour. After I attended Discovery Class in Willingdon, I finally understood why people in church were always smiling. It was not because they were living in a fairy tale; it was because they were willing to let God take control in every area of their life. They knew that God would listen to their prayer; God would make a way when there was no way. After we casted all of our burdens to God and focused on what we ought to do at the moment, we would feel so free. Therefore, I found the foundation of a joyful heart. Meanwhile, I also figured out the fundamental reason why so many people had felt empty in their hearts. Love was the reason. I finally understood that I had been looking for love, and God taught us in John 3:16, “ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ” Was there any love greater than God ’ s love? There had been nothing as selfless as Jesus ’ love. 

I thought everything would go smoothly forever until two months later. One day, Dad told me he got late lung cancer. When I heard this news, I was crushing. I asked God, “ Why do you allow this disaster to happen? Why it happens to my Dad? ” After that, Dad was under chemotherapy. However, Chemotherapy showed no effect on him. Dad did not lose any hair like the some other patients. And then, he suddenly couldn ’ t walk anymore. He then was sent to Vancouver General Hospital. When I was experiencing such a hardship, I determined to go Church all the same. I went there to pray for my Dad. I hoped Dad would recover very soon. It was also during that period, I discovered that how useless I was. I was so weak. I used to believe that human beings could conquer the universe. I then realized how wrong I had been. A person couldn ’ t control his life, and a person couldn ’ t conquer the whole universe. When God wanted to take you to somewhere, no one could do anything about it. Whenever I heard Dad was not feeling well in the hospital, I was so scared. I often kneed down in front of my bed and cried to the Lord for his mercy. 

I prayed that God would heal my Dad. And then, Dad would look as good as any healthy man when I reached the hospital. It proved what Lord had told us in the Bible, “ Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ” (Matthew 7:7) My Dad was a very independent person. He had only believed his own ability. He thought being independent was the most reliable lifestyle on earth. However, when he was lying in bed, he told me several times that he wanted to believe in Jesus. On the other hand, because of my Mum ’ s religion and my family tradition, he was hesitated to do so. 

At the beginning, to extend my Dad ’ s life was all I want. I even asked God to take away 10 years of my life to exchange Dad ’ s. I sincerely hoped that I could have chance to take care of my Dad. However, when I saw Dad was suffering day and night because of the cancer, I realized that to live longer was not the best choice for him. Then, I told Lord, “ Dear Lord, you can take my Dad away. However, please make him believe in you before you do so. ” I praised the Lord because he heard my prayer. 

Before my Dad past away, he stayed in hospice for three days. Within these 3 days, we successfully contacted my Mum who was overseas at the time. I shared my testimony with her, which made her allow Dad to believe in Jesus. On the morning of next day, I called Willingdon Church. Pastor came and baptized my Dad. My Dad passed away on November 16, 2008. When he left for heaven, he was very peaceful. His facial expression was so happy that you could even see his smile. I had been baptized on November 02. Within two weeks, both my Dad and I were saved by our Lord. How amazing it was! 

Many years have passed; there are a lot of things have happened in my life. It is my Lord who has leaded me all the way to here. No matter how big the problem was, he has faithfully guided me. Lord told me through book of Romans 12:12, “ Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. ” I now finally understand that there is no accident in God. Every person is created for a purpose. A person exists in this world because there is this good purpose that God has specially designed for him. God has created different kinds of crosses for each person. Each cross is specially designed, too. Some of them are lighter than the other, but all of them are within the limits of their carriers. Often, we choose a short cut in order to make our crosses lighter. 

However, we will miss God ’ s wonderful grace when we make such a decision. Therefore, don ’ t give up in all circumstances because God is always here with you. He has always loved you. Moreover, we are alive not only for our responsibilities in this world. Most of all, we are here for our great mission — preaching the gospel.