Diagnosis of Leukemia Marked My Relationship with God

Esther Wong

I grew up in a Christian family. Going to church on Sundays is part of my life ever since I was born. God has been gracious to me.  Everything in my life went smoothly.  I went through different stages of life like everyone else did.  Having been grown up in a Christian family, I always believed in Jesus died on the cross for me.  When I was 8 years old, I made the commitment to follow Jesus.  Nothing unusual or special happened that made me turn to Christ.  Looking back, my life does not have much change after I made the commitment.  I continue to go to church on Sundays with my family and everything else in life went by smoothly as usual.   

However, things started to change when I was 15 years old.  At 15, when I was in grade 11, I was diagnosed with leukemia.  The diagnosis of leukemia marked the beginning of my relationship with God.  Looking back to my childhood, I would say I believed in God and everything that was taught about God; yet, I have no experience and do not have a close relationship with Him until I had leukemia.  During my chemotherapy treatment, I learned to depend on God and realized that life is in His hands.  When I was really sick in bed, I realized how powerless humans are and acknowledged the power and comfort of God.  Other people may try to understand what I was going through, but I know that only God can truly understand and feel the physical and psychological consequences of the illness.  There are many blessings from God.  He put many angels around me to help me go through the treatment and the challenges that I encountered.  These challenges were not only related to health, but also the ones I faced at school.  I am really thankful that God has granted me many loving and caring family members and friends around me.  The love was so great to an extent that I did not deserve.  I am also thankful that God has granted me peace and optimism throughout my experience with leukemia.  Having the peace and optimism, not only made it easier for me to face the different challenges throughout the treatment process, but also made it easier for the people around me.     

After the intense chemotherapy treatment, my life was back to normal.  I was able to go back to school and do most of the things that I used to do.  When I thought things finally back to normal, I discovered that I had Avascular Necrosis (AVN) on my hips and shoulders, which was part of the side effects of the chemotherapy.  I was unaware of the destructions that AVN can bring until it started to affect my daily life, to a point that I couldn’t walk properly.  For a period of time, I was struggling to decide whether or not and when I should have surgeries to replace my hips with artificial joints.  To be honest, I have to admit that I was tired at that point, physically, mentally and spiritually.  It felt like the “not so good” stuff kept coming and coming.  I didn’t know if I could handle.  Thankfully, God showed His love and Almighty power once again.  God’s timing and plan are always perfect.  I started attending a 20 to 30 people fellowship at the time when I was most reluctant to meet new people.  I was reluctant to meet new people because of awkwardness in the way I walk and other problems with my health.  God’s work is amazing.  Gradually, I grew spiritually through the bible studies and various experiences in the fellowship.   God was preparing me for my surgeries.  My relationship with God grew much closer.  I learned to deal with uncertainties by putting my life into God’s hands.  I made friends with many loving and caring brothers and sisters in the fellowship who supported me during times of hardship.   Moreover, I also learned to appreciate the basics in life and not to take things for granted.  The ability to walk, which is human basic, is something that I learned to appreciate. Although I sometimes forget and still take things for granted, God always remind me through big and small things in my daily life.   

I am really thankful that God put me through leukemia, chemotherapy and the surgeries.  If I had not experienced the sufferings and hardships, I wouldn’t have realized and appreciated the love and power of God.  My life seems to be pretty good right now.  As I will be graduating soon, there are lots of challenges in various areas of my life that I will encounter in the coming years.  From today on, I will continue to lift my life to God.  Although I am still learning to surrender everything in my life to God, I will try my best to let go and be submissive to let Him guide the path that glorifies His name.