I don ’ t want to step back — a testimony from Zizian Zhong

Written by Zizian Zhong 

And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back. 

                                                                        -- Hebrews 10:38

I left home at a young age. It was nearly 10 years ago. During the past 10 years, my experiences have taught me how to avoid conflicts. I think this helps me to live a peaceful life. However, my wisdom can ’ t even compare with God ’ s foolishness. In times of difficulties, my lesson from Him is to “ never step back ” .

　 　 　 This lesson started in April 2012. In the last week of April, one of our 3 bedrooms became vacant. My friend and I started to pray for a new roommate. After that, our prayers were answered. The Lord gave us a “ No ” , and that we should move to a new place. We had lived in the apartment for about 4 years but surprisingly we were filled with joy and peace when we were about to go. I thought that this was such a blessing from the Lord. However, when we gave our notice to the landlady, she told us, “ You ’ d better clean everything before you go. Otherwise, I will take part of your deposit. ” Hearing this, I was quite scared. The first thing she mentioned was taking our deposit which didn ’ t sound like a good sign to me.

　 　 　 A few days later, the landlady sent us an email. In her email, she gave us a to-do list. It was divided into 5 categories and more than 30 sub-categories. After reading the list, I was so depressed that I felt the need for some fresh air. After taking a deep breath, I suddenly remembered that Jesus asked us to serve our earthly masters. He asked us to serve not only the nice ones but also those that are tough. Therefore, I finally decided to read the email again. Surprisingly, the list required us to clean the heaters in the kitchen. However, we didn ’ t have a heater there. There were several other similar requirements like that, which shortened the list instantly.

　 　 　 Thanks be to the Lord!

　 　 　 During the whole moving process, packing furniture was such a headache. Among all the stuff, moving our bookcases gave us a very big challenge. Originally, these bookcases were from our pastor. He gave my friend and me one each as gifts. His gifts were high quality. However, when I needed to move them around, I discovered that they were so heavy. I had tried my best to move mine, but I struggled in my heart when my friend asked me to help with her bookcase. I wanted to help her, but there was no space in the truck anymore. As a result, I said nothing but my heart continued to struggle.

　 　 　 Later that evening, my friend called the pastor ’ s wife for help who was also moving by herself. Her own progress of moving was also very slow. She didn ’ t have extra energy to help move the bookcase. She told me later that, she knelt down in front of Jesus to ask him for a solution. I didn ’ t know what she had told Jesus, but I did know what happened later that night. Our landlady sent us a text message right before midnight. She told me that the new tenants for our apartment would like to buy our old furniture. However, they wanted everything but our bookcases. After receiving the text message, I was quite lost. This was because everything else actually belonged to landlord; we only owned the bookcases. Later, the landlord explained to me that she had messed up. What the new tenant told her was they wanted nothing but the bookcases.

　 　 　 Halleluiah! Praise the Lord!!!

　 　 　 On the to-do lists that we received, most of the requests were about cleaning. According to the list, we needed to move both the refrigerator and stove away to clean the back of these appliances and the floor under them. I cleaned the refrigerator according to the requirements, but the stove was permanently secured to the floor. I couldn ’ t move it so I called the landlady and reported this problem. Surprisingly, she treated us nicely and said it was O.K. to not move it and that we could leave some chairs behind if we couldn ’ t move all of them. I was very touched by her understanding.

　 　 　 However, the day after our conversation, she sent me a text message. In the message, she said she had checked our rooms, but the apartment still had not met her standards. Furthermore, she wanted us to move out all the chairs otherwise she would take $100 deposit from us. I was confused. She was the one who had asked us to leave the chairs. Now she was asking us to move them. How could her requests be so contradictory?

　 　 　 By then, I finally realized that the landlady was doing everything on purpose. She made impossible requests so that she could take our deposit. I had been traveling between my Vancouver apartment and my new home in Port Coquitlam every day and I was very tired.

　 　 　 Later that night, I prayed to the lord, “ Dear Lord, I just can ’ t take this anymore. If you let me choose, I would give up the money. I ’ d rather give them money in return for my peace back. However, dear Lord, you know that I am doing all these things for you. I am fighting this battle for you. We are going to win this batter together. Not only that, we are going to have a remarkable victory. We are going to take the full deposit back. Lord, not only that, you make her give me more than the $420 deposit back. You can do that. I don ’ t know how you can make it, but I know you have the power to do so. Dear Lord, I don ’ t have any power. The landlady is that one who seems to hold the power. But her power is from you, and your grace is more than enough for me. I don ’ t know how to win the battle but I have a heart that is willing to follow in your steps. Dear Lord, I am determined not to step back. I am not going to shrink back. I don ’ t want to shrink back. I pray in the precious name of Jesus Christ. Amen ”

　 　 　 In the days after that prayer, my life did not get any easier. Victory didn ’ t come overnight, but I was filled by peace despite the circumstances. In my heart, I know that God has the victory in hand, and He had everything in His control. In the end, my friend and I got our full deposit back. Together with the sale of the bookcases, the landlord gave us $435.

　 　 　 With the money in hand, my friend told me that getting full deposit back was beyond her expectations. However, it was totally within my expectations.

　 　 　 If you were me, it would also be within your expectations, right?

　 　 　 How could it be any other way?

　 　 　 There are many people who have questioned me. They are wondering how I knew that I had believed in the one true God.

　 　 　 My answer is the following:

　 　 　 What He has told me in Bible is the same as what I am experiencing in my life every day.
No more, no less …

Lord is my shield